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javier [2019/12/29 16:52]
admin created 		javier [2020/06/21 00:32] (current)
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-<showif isloggedin>​ +<nspages javier ​-textPages="​Pages ​in /​javier" ​-nbCol=4>
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-====== 1. Meaning of Your Marriage Commitment ====== +
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-A. Describe what commitment means to you as you make plans to walk down the aisle? +
-B. Of all of the persons in your life that you have met and could have married, why are you choosing your partner? +
-C. What attracted you to your partner initially and what do you believe your partner will help you become? +
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-====== 2. Your Life Long Goals ====== +
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-A. What do you hope to achieve in the near future and the distant future regarding your career? +
-B. How do you plan to care for your community alone or separately?​ +
-C. Do you hope to leave a legacy after you die? +
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-====== 3. Your Mutual Expectations ====== +
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-A. What do you expect from a marital partner regarding emotional support during exciting times, sad times, periods of illness and job loss? +
-B. Will you set aside one night just to be together alone to catch up with each other and have fun? +
-C. What size house is important and in what kind of neighborhood do you hope to live in both now and in the future? +
-D. Are you both clear how much alone time the other needs? +
-E. How long does your partner need to spend with friends separately and together? +
-F. Do you agree with how much time is appropriate to give to work? +
-G. Do you both expect to support the family financially and will that be different when kids arrive? +
-H. Are you both comfortable with the salary differential between you? +
-I. How will you deal with times when one or both of you has reached a midlife career point, and you need to change some aspects of your life? +
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-====== 4. Your Living Arrangements ====== +
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-A. How do you plan to live together? +
-B. Where will you live after the arrival of children? +
-C. How do you determine if a new career path or job is reason enough to move? +
-D. Do you hope to live in the same house or area for a long time? +
-E. Will you need to be close to your parents either as you get together now or as they get older? +
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-====== 5. Will you have children and if so how many? ====== +
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-A. When do you plan to start a family? +
-B. How far apart would you want your kids to be in age? +
-C. Would abortion ever be acceptable before or after that? +
-D. What kinds of philosophies did your parents have about child raising and do you agree or disagree? +
-E. How do each of you intend to shape your children’s values +
-F. What kinds of punishment are appropriate or not appropriate?​ +
-G. What kinds of expectations do you each have about money spent on toys, clothes, etc. +
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-====== 6. Money ====== +
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-A. Will you have separate or joint checking accounts or both? +
-B. If you do have different accounts, who will be responsible for which expenses? +
-C. Who will pay the bills? +
-D. Do you agree to have full financial disclosure about each of your personal financial situation at all times? +
-E. How will strong disagreements about spending money be resolved? +
-F. Is there any debt that either partner has incurred before the marriage (ex. college or graduate school loans or credit card debt). +
-G. What amount of available money does each of you need to have to feel comfortable?​ +
-H. Will there be a savings plan for the first house? +
-I. Do you plan to keep trading houses as you can afford it? +
-J. How much credit card debt or home equity loan debt is acceptable?​ +
-K. Agreement about taking care of the financial needs of parents if likely? +
-L. Do you plan to send your kids to private or parochial school? +
-M. What will be the plans for children’s college education?​ +
-N. When do you hope to begin saving for retirement?​ +
-O. Will you use a financial planner? +
-P. Who will complete the taxes? +
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-====== 7. Parents and In-laws ====== +
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-A. How much time does each of you need to spend with your parents and how much do you expect your partner to join you? +
-B. How do you plan to spend the holidays? +
-C. What will be the holiday expectations of each of your parents and how will you deal with those expectations?​ +
-D. What kind of support do you expect from your partner when the parents are putting pressure on you? +
-E. Is it OK for either of you to talk with parents about the problems of the relationship?​ +
-F. What kind of relationship do you expect your kids to have with your parents? +
-G. Do you anticipate that you will ever want a parent to live with the two of you when you grow old? +
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-====== 8. Gender Role Expectations ====== +
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-A. What did your parents model for you concerning who did what in the family? +
-B. Did you feel that was fair and do you expect something different?​ +
-C. Does each of you have some preferences that might be unrelated to gender? +
-D. How will you deal with household or yard maintenance?​ How will you divvy up these responsibilities or hire someone? +
-E. Do both of you expect to work if you have children? +
-F. When the children get sick, how do you decide who stays home with them? +
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-====== 9. Do you agree on issues around erotic moments together? ====== +
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-A. How often do you want to enjoy an intimate evening with each other? +
-B. How do you intend to resolve differences in sexual preferences?​ +
-C. Can you work out an agreement about how to deal with differences in the frequency of sexual desire? +
-D. Are there certain things that are clearly off limits? +
-E. Do you agree to talk about your sexual concerns at a time when you both are feeling creative and relaxed and not during sex? +
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-====== 10. How will you resolve heated conflicts? ====== +
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-A.  What can you learn about how your partner likes to deal with conflict based on their experience in their family of origin. +
-B. What feels comfortable to each of you, as your partner gets upset? +
-C. Can either of you ask for a timeout to calm down and be creative in your problem-solving? +
-D. What rituals will you develop to reach out to each other after a big fight? +
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-====== 11. Spiritual Life ====== +
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-A. What does spirituality mean to each of you? +
-B. What kind of participation do you expect in each other in some form of spiritual community?​ +
-C. How will you share what means something to you with them? +
-D. Will your children be expected to attend any regular services or religious education?​ +
-E. Will the children go through certain rituals such as baptism, christening,​ first communion, confirmation,​ bar or bat mitzvah? +
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-====== 12. Agreement about extramarital relationships/​affairs ====== +
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-A. Do you want to establish from the beginning that affairs are not an option? +
-B. Do you agree that affairs of the heart are equal to sexual infidelity?​ +
-C. Will you talk to your partner about someone that you feel drawn to as a colleague or erotically since this can build the bond between you and your partner rather than the outside person? +
-D. Will you commit to never talking to a person of the opposite sex (except a therapist or clergy) about your relationship with your partner since this builds a bond outside of your relationship?​ +
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-</showif>+
Last modified: 2020/06/13 20:09